(C) 2017 Luke T. Bush
PLATTSBURGH CITY, NY -- 1/14/16
Why does your local newspaper suck?
One main reason is that most papers are owned by a chain that is only interested in profits, not journalism. Staff and quality is sacrificed to appease the great stockholder gods.
You can tell when the staff has been cut to the bone. Call it the gaping newshole syndrome.
Newshole refers to the amount of space that can be devoted to publishing articles. When things were going great the newshole was tight, plenty of advertising. Ads took priority over news. Sometimes an article would be cut to fit in another ad.
This gaping newshole reflects the rise of internet advertising, including Craigslist which provides a cheaper alternative to the local classifieds. In desperation the Press-Republican ran a display ad today taking a shot at Craigslist. The ad's centerpiece is a photo of some young maniac wearing earrings and a baseball cap, his tongue sticking out sideways.
The ad text reads: "We don't know who Craig is... ..but his list seems pretty shady. Press-Republican Classifieds that work...honestly."
Yes, the man behind Craigslist is a young crazy out to rip you off. Of course you can only trust your hometown newspaper when it comes to advertising.
Sure. As I've blogged in the past the Press-Republican runs display ads for products of a dubious nature such as a pill for improving your memory. At first glance the ad looks like a headlined article. But if you look hard you can spot ADVERTISEMENT in tiny letters at the top. For elderly readers -- the usual targets of these ads -- they will have to ask Superman to use his microscopic vision to discern the small print.
The article goes on about all sorts of health claims, its product the answer to your ailment.
Really. Read the fine print at the bottom: "THESE STATEMENTS HAVE NOT BEEN EVALUATED BY THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION. THIS PRODUCT IS NOT INTENDED TO DIAGNOSE, TREAT, CURE, OR PREVENT ANY DISEASE."
Caveat emptor, sucker.