Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Plattsy For Mayor!

Plattsy sez,

“Yup, I’m the one you need to run the circus that is Plattsburgh. Why am I qualified for the job? Let me prove my point by resorting to a time-honored tradition of political campaigning, firing cheap shots at my opponents.

“Take this guy Kasprzak -- please. What kind of name is that? How do you syllabize it? Hell, how you do even pronounce it? Can you trust someone with so many consonants in his surname and only two vowels to go with them? I bet if you trick Kasprzak to say his name backwards, he’ll pop back into the fifth dimension. Me, I would rather vote for Mr. Mxyzpltk.

“And then there’s Duniho; he’s some sort of overpaid back rubber. Does the city need a chiropractor or a protractor, whatever the hippie term is, to straighten things out? Yup, a groovy Democrat is the answer. What’s he going to do, climb on to that big metal eagle atop MacDonough Monument and turn it into a dove by massaging the subluxations out of its back?

“Don’t clown around. Vote for me and let the fun begin!”

1 comment:

TourPro said...

Here's some good rules:

No Candidates with names that have more than two consonants next to each other.

No Candidates with the word "ho" in their name.

The number of votes will diminish each day after election that candidates signs remain on the streets.

The winning mayoral candidate must also work part-time as a birthday clown to help mitigate the ever rising cost of running the city.