Feng Shui On The Range

Man, what a weird setting for a lecture.

Like the others in the audience I was sitting on the green in an orange plastic chair. The bright orange created contrasting clashes with the lawn. To my left and right grass sprawled to the horizon, meeting a wall of white clouds beneath the blue sky. Behind me was a serene site, a pond and trees. I was enclosed by expanses of white netting on three sides plus more over my head. Could the netting act as a spirit catcher?

The grass was stiff and crunchy under my feet. There was no breeze. No moving ripples on the pond's surface. The clouds were still.

I didn't have to worry about rain. Neither did the grass. Artificial turf doesn't need water. And I doubted the weather would ever change here, not with the painted scenery on the walls.

In the main area of the building -- the basketball court -- various vendors were set up, including psychics giving readings at folding tables adorned with lit candles. And while that scene was unusual with its sports-supernatural dichotomy vibe, this setting had it beat.







Saturday afternoon at the Second Annual Northern NY Paranormal Expo at the City of Plattsburgh Recreation Center. This year the event featured a vendor showcase speakers area in the indoor golf range

Behind the speaker was an upper level where spots were set up for golfers to whack away. It appeared the driving range was originally a small theatre back in the days when the grounds were an active military base; that explained the stage-like area. If it had been a theatre, what ghosts were lurking about? How scary is a ham actor transformed into a haunting entity? Or an incorporeal corporal? Probably more annoying than frightening.

There was a lot going on at this year's expo. And while the speakers were friendly, they were busy, helping people seeking answers pertaining to the mysteries of the unknown. The speakers didn't need someone asking somewhat spurious questions.

For example, doesn't the feng shui of an indoor driving range affect aura readings? Are L-shaped dowser rods influenced by fake scenery? Could such devices be thrown off by the dowser subconsciously reacting to a painted panorama? Does artificial turf prevent L-rods from detecting water?

And related to the driving range motif, if a psychic yells "Fore!" is that a warning that he's foretelling the future or he's about to hit a golf ball?

Some questions are best left unasked.

And that's no mystery.