Oval Proposal A Big Zero

Final score: 5 to 1.

Thursday evening the Plattsburgh Common Council shot down a proposal by a group of residents on the former air force base to make a street in their neighborhood one-way.

One of the leading proponents of the change is Luke Cyphers, a sports magazine writer who moved to Plattsburgh seeking the small town life.

Mr. Cyphers, welcome to the Burgh.

The street in question is called the Oval, a mile long circle on the old base. Cyphers laid out his reasons for the change in an opinion piece published Friday, June 6, 2008 in the Press-Republican’s Editorial section. He was responding to an editorial by the PR that disfavored the idea.

Cyphers and his neighbors wanted to change the Oval to one-way so that the inner lane could be opened up for non-motorized use, i.e., walkers and cyclists. He stressed the benefits of promoting exercise through a safer location.

His opinion piece in the Press-Republican is well written but smacks of dem dere big city notions. For example, he writes:

“It always irks me to see Burlington [Vermont] lauded as one of Outside Magazine’s top places to live for fitness and recreation enthusiasts.”

Apparently Cyphers has never taken a visual survey of the locals. Endomorphs, not mesomorphs, are the majority. Former mayor Dan Stewart proposed the opening of a Kripsy Krème doughnut shop downtown. Cyphers would be better off advocating that fat proposal for the Oval. Successful lobbying is assured.

In his essay Cyphers says that one-way traffic on the Oval would decrease the probability of an accident. With this point he invokes the term, “common sense.”

Common sense? In Plattsburgh?

Obviously Cyphers hasn’t dealt with too many of the provincials around here. Advising the typical Burgher to use common sense is akin to telling a dead man to work out more often at the gym to stay in shape.

If Cyphers stays here long enough, he will learn.

He will learn that he should’ve moved to Burlington.