Plattsy + Plattsburgh = 0

Plattsy groans,

Uuuuuuuuu – where am I? It’s all over… that’s right. No one wanted me as mayor. In fact, I pulled in –2% of the vote. That means I owe votes the next time I run.

Yes, I will run again. Next year I have my eyes on a seat with Plattsburgh Common Council. I’ll be seeking the position of councilor at large. Plattsburgh is divided into different wards, but as a councilor at large I will be overseeing the mental ward. This town is indeed one big nuthouse.

You people have to be crazy. Don’t you realize that it takes a loser to run a loser town?

You could’ve had fun with me in charge. Remember when former mayor Dan Stewart wanted to fire a cannon at noon from the steps of city hall? What’s the fun in that? Me, I would get a circus cannon and fire either city councilors or department heads out of it. And just like the city, there wouldn’t be a safety net.

Well, enjoy yourselves with Mayor Mxyzptlk.

Uuuuu, my head. I drank too much of my own elixir, Plattsy’s Patented Panacea. Remember that nickname for Congressman Tom DeLay? They called him The Hammer. Well, you can call me The Clown Hammer. I’ll be back…