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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Killer Doggy Doo!!!


So what happened to Plattsy's boot? Well, he stepped in some canine crap that some dog owner left behind in a city park. But it wasn't any doggy doo. Apparently it was serving as a host for a mutant form of necrotizing fasciitis. The bug just are right through the leather and it would've infected Plattsy if it wasn't for his crusty wool sock that hadn't been washed since last summer. Anyway, Plattsy had his boot cleaned with high intensity gamma rays and then patched it up with antibacterial Kevlar (R). See what happens when you let a problem get out of hand? Plattsy paid a lot of money to have his boot treated at the Plattsburgh Shoe Hospital -- but it wasn't covered by his medical insurance. Instead of fining discourteous dog owners, Plattsy wants them to have their noses rubbed in it, treating them like the bad dogs they are. And if their noses are eaten away by mutant bacteria, oh, well, that's life.

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