Public Library Or Sauna?
“I’m reporting live from the Plattsburgh Public Library. Another day without air conditioning. Man, look at the water coming outta me. I’m pissin’ right through my pores. And this is happening while wearing my lightweight summer clown clothes.
“The story is the central AC will be fixed in two or three weeks. Since this institution is under the auspices of the City of Plattsburgh, the AC will be back up and running just before Christmas.
“Remember, people judge the quality of life in their community by its institutions. And if your institution reeks of perspiration, then its quality stinks.
“The library Board of Directors met recently to discuss the problem. They convened in the air-conditioned room upstairs that isn’t part of the central system. So one wonders if they were sweating the details.
“Until the library is less than 95 degrees, you are advised to wear only thick fluffy towels wrapped around your naked flesh. This way you can melt off a few pounds while reading Fahrenheit 451 or Dante’s Inferno.”