Parking Lot Traumatized By Mayor’s Cruel Comments
“I’m not an eyesore,” sobbed Lottie, the parking lot that resides on the corner of Margaret and Court streets in downtown Plattsburgh, NY. “The mayor had no reason to say those things about me.”
Recently Mayor Jack Stewart was trying to resurrect a building project that had already been rejected. In justifying the need for the project, he stated the site under consideration was “an eyesore, a scab.”
“I’m not scabby!” declared the parking lot. “My pavement isn’t made with dried, coagulated blood.”
Wiping aside a tear, Lottie continued, “I provide a much needed function for downtown. If I don’t look pretty, it’s because someone hasn’t been paying attention to my needs. And that’s not my ass fault.”
Rumors are aswirling about possible legal action against the city. In regards to such questions, Lottie defers to her lawyer, Mac Macadam.
“I will say,” she added before the interview was over, “that I will not allow Mayor Stewart to tarmac and feather me with such words. I’ll show him my true stripes! I’ll teach him where to park it!”