“Hey, was the circus in town last night? It looks like an elephant was on the loose Thursday evening (or should I say Turdsday evening?). Here I was, plodding down the sidewalk, on the way to the outdoor musical performance, and this stuff is blocking my path!
“Don’t forget: I’m running for mayor. My solution to this problem: if a dog owner leaves a mess from his pooch, then he gets his nose rubbed in it, just like a bad dog!
“Hey, I’m SICK of this crap all over town! Elect me and I won’t clown around about it, unlike all the previous pols who promise action and only bloviate hot air!
“Look at your leaders. Look at me. You have to admit: A CLOWN CAN DO BETTER!”